Lil Wayne and Lil You Don’t Mix, Keeping It Clean

Do you have a little one and a inclination towards music with parental advisory stickers on it? Let’s not kid ourselves, hearing a child swear is probably up there on the funny-o-meter right next to seeing America’s Funniest Videos greatest shots to the crotch collection. What’s not funny is when your kid starts spouting off random 50 Cent lyrics…someone else’s kid, now that is another story.

Here are a few tips from PoppaBlog.com on keeping your collection clean and prolonging the “Daddy, what’s a ho?” question until he gets to grade school.

1. Buy another iPod: chances are, you probably even have an old one laying around that you’re not using.  Take one for Daddy’s collection and bob your head all day long to N.W.A.’s greatest hits when junior isn’t around and use the other one when you’re off to Gymboree and rock out to The Wiggles.
2. Start buying the “clean” versions: I can’t believe that I even wrote that.  As a non-parent, I would stand on the closest soapbox and scream “freedom of speech!”  Now that there are little ears listening, I can (kind-of) understand why evil places like Walmart sell edited versions.  Of course, not giving their consumers the right to choose which version is a big ole can of worms that I’m not going to open here.  There are two major issues with buying edited music.  One, your buddies will surely make fun of you.  Two, the censors aren’t so picky about sexual context and there are still a pile of words that get through that aren’t so good for the little one.
3. Start listening to non-explicit music: GASP!  Are you implying that I get out of my box and listen to different music?  Not completely.  If you’re into rap and hip-hop, there are plenty of non-explicit options.  You can generally find instrumental versions of popular tracks and guys like DJ Shadow and RJD2 have been making some amazing music with samples and turntables for years now.  Granted, some tracks might have a sample or two that is not kid friendly, or a track with a guest MC spouting out some nasties, but just move those to your dirty iPod.  And remember kids, Will Smith didn’t have to curse to sell all of his records.
4. Turn off MTV: oh wait, never mind…they haven’t played music videos since I was a kid.
5. Keep tabs on them: Nobody wants to be the bad cop.  However, if your child is old enough to have their own iPod and has access to a computer and has a friend, they WILL get their hands on music that they shouldn’t have.  It’s human nature to be intrigued by the dirty things in life.  There’s a line on Run-DMC’s – Raising Hell album that went “I leave all suckers, in the dust, those dumb mother f@%&ers can’t mess with us.”  I got that TAPE in second grade, and I think that I rewound and replayed that line about seven thousand times after I heard it.  I think I turned out OK, but I was also very shy and didn’t run around repeating everything that I heard.
6. Find some kid’s music that you’ll both enjoy: Yes, I mean that.  There are a handful of albums out there by artists that you might even know that have done kids albums.  Alternatively, there are kid’s versions of music that you might be into.  Need proof, check it out:
   
   …Biz Markie, The Roots, lullaby versions of Radiohead and Metallica, and that’s what a quick search of Amazon.com produced. Surely a quick look in iTunes would yield more results.

I’d love to hear some tips and advice from other parents out there. Leave a comment, tell us how you manage to keep an AK-47 off of little Jimmy’s Christmas list, even though you rocked a Jheri curl and wore an Oakland Raiders hat to your 8th grade dance.

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