as much as it might seem like a good idea to rush into potty training, especially if you have a kid who is showing advanced abilities, studies show that you should wait.  but not too long…

A new study suggests 27 to 32 months is the ideal window for moving your child out of diapers. Children who were toilet trained after 32 months were more likely to have urge incontinence — daytime wetting and bed-wetting — between ages 4 and 12.

I’ve heard about a method that involves three days and NO diapers, probably some messy pants and some unpleasant laundry, but has success.  Well, I know of two cases that worked…we will cover that soon on PoppaBlog.

More on the study mentioned above, here.

Here are some tips to keep you and your kids out of the doctor’s office this holiday season:

• Stay Home. For real, avoid unnecessary trips.  Junior doesn’t need to wait in line with you at 6AM on Black Friday to get that $249.99 laptop at Walmart.  Also, with H1N1 (swine flu) flying around everywhere, this would be the year to tell your extended family that you really don’t care for them and you want to spend Christmas at home with the wife and kids.
• Take the Meds. If your child is over 6 months old, get a flu shot.  With the H1N1 hype happening right now, most people are losing site that the regular flu tends to get nasty in late December.  Protect yourself and your kids and get both types of shots.
• Tell your friends and family to get shots. As adults, our immune systems have been strengthened by shirtless football games in January and the barrage of germs, viruses and parasites that are ingested during spirited beer pong play…your kids on the other hand have not led the cultured life that you have and can’t handle exposure like you can.  Avoid exposure by (putting on some pants) asking your relatives to get flu shots before you come and visit.  If grandma really wants to see her granddaughter, she can take her butt to the pharmacy for a shot.
• Keep them clean. I saw a kid pick up a chicken bone from the floor of a restaurant and put it in his mouth once.  Gross right? I swear, the little buggers will touch and eat anything…ANYTHING.  Keep their hands clean and keep an eye out for what they’re touching.  Grabbing Uncle Randy’s wooden leg is one thing, sucking on a handrail at the mall (I literally just gagged) is another. 
  
• Teach them how to sneeze and cough. I keep telling my 6 month old that if she doesn’t start covering her nose and mouth when she sneezes that I’m not going to let her talk to boys until she’s 50.  Lucky for me, she’s not covering up.  If your kid is old enough to get it, teach them how to cover their mouth/nose and teach them to wash their hands afterward.  A sick kid is bad enough, being known as the family that’s spreading the outbreak can get you run out of some places.

Do you have any tips?  Please comment!

Here are a few tips from PoppaBlog.com on keeping your collection clean and prolonging the “Daddy, what’s a ho?” question until he gets to grade school.

1. Buy another iPod: chances are, you probably even have an old one laying around that you’re not using.  Take one for Daddy’s collection and bob your head all day long to N.W.A.’s greatest hits when junior isn’t around and use the other one when you’re off to Gymboree and rock out to The Wiggles.
2. Start buying the “clean” versions: I can’t believe that I even wrote that.  As a non-parent, I would stand on the closest soapbox and scream “freedom of speech!”  Now that there are little ears listening, I can (kind-of) understand why evil places like Walmart sell edited versions.  Of course, not giving their consumers the right to choose which version is a big ole can of worms that I’m not going to open here.  There are two major issues with buying edited music.  One, your buddies will surely make fun of you.  Two, the censors aren’t so picky about sexual context and there are still a pile of words that get through that aren’t so good for the little one.
3. Start listening to non-explicit music: GASP!  Are you implying that I get out of my box and listen to different music?  Not completely.  If you’re into rap and hip-hop, there are plenty of non-explicit options.  You can generally find instrumental versions of popular tracks and guys like DJ Shadow and RJD2 have been making some amazing music with samples and turntables for years now.  Granted, some tracks might have a sample or two that is not kid friendly, or a track with a guest MC spouting out some nasties, but just move those to your dirty iPod.  And remember kids, Will Smith didn’t have to curse to sell all of his records.
4. Turn off MTV: oh wait, never mind…they haven’t played music videos since I was a kid.
5. Keep tabs on them: Nobody wants to be the bad cop.  However, if your child is old enough to have their own iPod and has access to a computer and has a friend, they WILL get their hands on music that they shouldn’t have.  It’s human nature to be intrigued by the dirty things in life.  There’s a line on Run-DMC’s – Raising Hell album that went “I leave all suckers, in the dust, those dumb mother f@%&ers can’t mess with us.”  I got that TAPE in second grade, and I think that I rewound and replayed that line about seven thousand times after I heard it.  I think I turned out OK, but I was also very shy and didn’t run around repeating everything that I heard.
6. Find some kid’s music that you’ll both enjoy: Yes, I mean that.  There are a handful of albums out there by artists that you might even know that have done kids albums.  Alternatively, there are kid’s versions of music that you might be into.  Need proof, check it out:
   
   …Biz Markie, The Roots, lullaby versions of Radiohead and Metallica, and that’s what a quick search of Amazon.com produced. Surely a quick look in iTunes would yield more results.

I’d love to hear some tips and advice from other parents out there. Leave a comment, tell us how you manage to keep an AK-47 off of little Jimmy’s Christmas list, even though you rocked a Jheri curl and wore an Oakland Raiders hat to your 8th grade dance.

Hubby: Do you want something to eat?
Me: um…no thanks. I don’t really have an appetite.

Hubby: Are you upset with me?
Me: No…I am just feeling this overwhelming sense of sadness, and I don’t know why. I just know that I need you here with me.

Hubby: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: I don’t know how to put into words what I’m feeling…I just know that I feel lousy but so in love…all at the same time. I could cry at any moment.

Hubby: Can you tell me what you’re feeling?
Me: All I can say is that I feel this profound sense of emptiness and there is no rational explanation for this grief. I am overjoyed and I truly have the perfect life. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful newborn daughter, who is the love of my life, and no stress or drama and yet, I feel such an indescribable sense of loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. I’m miserable that you are going back to work, and I’m miserable that I have to return to work in a few months. I just want to be with her all the time. I look at our daughter and I am overwhelmed with love. It’s more intense than anything I have ever felt in my life. Beyond these thoughts, i can’t explain the origin or why i am in this state. It is as though my hormones have taken over, and I am completely out of control with my emotions, and if I continue talking about it…I’m going to cry once again.

For anyone out there who has ever experienced these feelings, this was my entire second week of motherhood. No one tells you that this overwhelming sense of loss / grief / emptiness / sadness is looming, or that you’ll experience a seesaw of emotions ranging from bliss to tears all within minutes…nor does anyone explain how to handle this hormonal state of utter distress. I am here to tell you that these feelings are all normal and completely natural. This my friends is Postpartum Blues.

It is as if you are fine one day, elated, on a huge cloud of bliss, celebrating this new life, then you turn around and the next minute you are crying and feeling completely out of sorts. You have no idea how to make these erratic feelings stop and your husband / partner is completely helpless, unsure of how to comfort you. Additionally, you don’t know if it will end and you don’t know if there is a light at the end of this bleak tunnel. You feel like you are going on an uphill battle with your child by your side and you don’t know how to handle these new feelings and emotions.

What I wish someone would have told me is that it’s ok to feel these things, and that you should never feel embarrassed to discuss your thoughts. I was so ashamed that I felt such profound sadness, that I tried to suppress my feelings, and even told my closest friends and family members that I was not experiencing anything hormonal. In fact, even when my mother expressed that she had a bad case of postpartum blues, I did not share my experience with her. I’m ashamed to say that I thought people would view me as weak, or that it was a sign that I was not a good mother. Especially when I had so much to be thankful for, and had such intense feelings of love for my family.

Dads / partners, postpartum blues are very real. They are overwhelming and unexplainable. What your wife needs, is not answers or solutions or the old “baby, you are such a strong woman!” pep talk. What your wife needs is a hug, a kiss, a smile, some cuddle time, and your undivided attention. Do not make the mistake of telling your wife that she should be positive and strong for the baby. What woman wants to hear that she is not living up to an imaginary standard? What she really needs is your comfort, support and understanding. Without that, it is a slippery slope from postpartum blues, which may last from one day to 2 weeks, to postpartum depression, which can persist for months and years. Take it from me, I needed my husband to be in sync with me, to protect me and make me feel loved and comforted by telling me what every mom wants to hear – that I am the most amazing and loving mom on this earth.

SOME TIPS:

• Be sure that the house is in complete order (cleanliness / ample food / nursery is set up, etc.) before you arrive from the hospital with your little bundle of joy.
• Arrange for loving friends and family to stop by. As much as you may want your privacy, it’s nice to feel loved and appreciated after going through such a huge transition. It’s also nice to keep her distracted from only focusing on her sadness.
• SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP! All new moms need their sleep. This is a rejuvenation period for mom, so be sure that she is taking care of herself!
• Allow your wife / partner to cry – encourage it! Do not let her feel like something is wrong or let her feel like she should be worried. Allow her to cry on your shoulder and let out all of her feelings. This is such a great way to cleanse her system and feel a sense of catharsis. This is all part of a normal pregnancy postpartum.
• Get mom out of the house everyday, even if it is for a short walk or car ride. Being out in the real world can be refreshing.
• Avoid Isolation. Be sure that your wife / partner has a support group available at all times. Be it her best friend or sister in law, be sure that she always has someone readily available if you are not accessible.

RESOURCES FOR POSTPARTUM BLUES:

• Baby Center – Postpartum Blues / Depression
• March of Dimes – Postpartum Blues / Depression

Again, this is my take on postpartum blues. If you notice that your wife is experiencing more prolonged symptoms over an extended period of time (longer than 2-3 weeks) you should seek professional help immediately! This is not shameful and is completely treatable! I know someone who experienced postpartum depression for over a year. She is now back to feeling like herself again.

RESOURCES FOR POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION:

• Great book for Mom – It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita
• Great book for Dad – The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for living with Postpartum Depression

This is definitely not kid’s stuff…no pun intended.

Also, if you’re not following us on twitter, hit us up at www.twitter.com/PoppaBlog

A little back story.  We were feeding our little one breast milk and formula from day one.  We made that decision because she was born via a c-section and mom’s boob juice didn’t start flowing right away.  Life was great once it did, because we have an infant that would drink from the boobie, drink from a bottle…hell, I bet she would have drank from a McDonalds cup and straw if we tried.  Then one fateful day, our pediatrician said “You should consider putting her 100% on breast milk.”  So we did.  And life was great.  The little one ate like a queen and Mom felt closer to her than ever. Of course, we put her 100% on the boob, without thinking that we should give her a bottle every now and then with momma’s nectar inside.

Since Mom is going to be out of town in a few weeks for a few days, we decided to try and put the old bottle back into the mix.  Denied.  I mean, wow.  Our baby is calm, peaceful and mellow to the point where other parents say things like “You have no idea how lucky you are.”  I want those same parents to come over when we’re trying to give the sweet mellow flower a bottle.  We’ve tried formula and breast milk, both to the same result.  We’ve also purchased about EVERY bottle Target has to offer (see above for the first bounty).  Crazy thing is, the one bottle that she’s taken more than 1-2 sucks from is a free sample of an old school big ole brown floppy latex nipple bag-style bottle (Playtex Drop-Ins Nurser).  Even then, I have to sneak up on her when she’s half asleep or distracted, but once she realizes what’s going on, she lets us know.

We thought it might be the fact that I am Dad, and she associates me with Mom and her (huge!) boobs.  So anytime ANYONE comes to our house, we make them give it a shot…and she’ll entertain the notion out of sheer curiosity, I think, for a few minutes (only with the big ole brown floppy) and then, well you get it…

We need help, need some advice here.  I’ve read that they’ll eat eventually and it’s OK to let them go a few hours off of schedule.  I did try that a few days ago, she was home with me for about 10 hours and at hour 8, she finally gave in and had about 2 ounces of breast milk from a bottle.  Add on the other 1 ounce that she accidentally drank as I was trying to get her to take a bottle earlier in the day and she was still way off of her normal daily intake.  I can’t bear to do that to her for an entire weekend.  And let’s not even talk about when Mom goes back to work and the nanny has to feed her.

I’ll follow-up with our progress, but please if anyone has anything to add, please do.

For argument sake, I’ll assume that you live near a mall or a Best Buy or some semblance of civilization. If not, pack up the 12 gauge and go get Dad a pheasant and some Old Milwaukee pounders.

Dad’s a music buff?
Get him some decent headphones. Especially helpful if he has a desk job or is tired of hearing your Mom drone on about Jon and Kate and the show that follows it, you know, with the elves…

My picks for kickass and affordable headphones:

Shure E2c, under $100 and should be available at your local Best Buy or Circuit City

Bose Triport Headphones are pretty spectacular as well. Great thing about them is they are also available at a number of retail stores, AND if you’re lucky enough to have a Bose outlet, get them there on the cheap.

Dad Likes TV
Get him some DVDs. Some awesome shows that he might not have seen but will probably love are The Wire, Deadwood, Weeds (if he’s into such things), OZ (nothing wrong with some male prison drama) and Entourage.

The beauty of those suggestions, is that you can pick them up anywhere, even Blockbuster when you drop off your copy of Mall Cop.

Dad has everything?
Get him a card and write something original in it. Seriously, how many times have you bought a card and just went with what Hallmark said? Spice it up, tell him that you appreciate his guidance and how you wouldn’t be the man you are today without him. Unless you’re in prison or a drug addict, then he might not want credit for that. Speaking of drugs, dads like booze and beer too. Hey, it’s a terrible gift for a woman, but us men appreciate a case of beer that cost you more than $20 or a bottle of something brown that isn’t plastic.

Personally, I’m a very new parent so I’ve grabbed a few links that cover the topic. I’m dealing with keeping things sane with two dogs (one of them, Chingoo is below) and a newborn.

BabyCenter.com provides some expert advice that might not seem obvious:

One of the best things you can do is desensitize your pet to the rough handling young children can dole out. He’ll need to get comfortable being touched in places where small hands can go, like between paw pads, on the face, tail, and underside of the body, and in the ears and mouth.

LoveYourDog.com is a great start. It’s not the prettiest site, but has a ton of activities for kids and dogs and a daily tip.

Pets.com is another great resource that covers most traditional pets and proper training, care and routine scheduled maintenance.

New Dad Blog tackles the topic of having a few dogs and new baby (good read)